The song used is HYDE's "Evergreen -English Ensemble-". If you haven't heard it, I suggest running to YouTube and finding it. If not, then ask me and I will upload the song for you.
Try to enjoy~♥
Pairing: Kangin x HanKyun
Rating: PG...for now?
Summary: "I could build a time machine. That would solve everything."
Genre: angst/fluff?? oO;;
Additional Notes: Written in both boys' POV. Kangin, Hankyun, Kangin, ect.
“I lie awake beside the windowsill,
Like a flower in a vase,
A moment caught in glass”
I still don’t know how long I’ve been sitting beside the window for. Hours, minutes, maybe even days or weeks; silently, unmoving, which is so uncharacteristic for me. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve stopped eating on my own. I’m far too absorbed in the warm scene before me and the bitter-sweet memories I hold. The other members have come in my room from time to time to give me food. Sometimes I’ll eat a little bit but most of the time the food given to me will sit beside me on the floor, cooling and eventually starting to spoil. They’d ask me, ‘Kangin, do you want to come with us to the store?’ ‘Do you want to take a walk?’ ‘Are you feeling alright?’ I wouldn’t answer them. Especially when they asked if I was alright. Eunhyuk of all people asked; the one who knew the answer best of all. I told him everything all the time, especially about this situation. I think the others got the hint by now, though, and have decided to just let me be.
My arms sit folded on the white old-wood windowsill, starting to numb while my head rests uncomfortably on my arms. Staring at the blue, cloud-filled sky and the trees that are swaying ever so gently in the pale sunlight, I blink and a heavy sigh escapes me. I just want to be alone and try to enjoy this new summer in the only enjoyable way I remember. Of course that won’t happen. So I’ll just have to use my imagination and pretend instead.
“The rays of sunlight come and beckon me,
To a sleepy dreamy haze.
A sense of summer days”
The cool grass against my arms and face is a perfect contrast to the balmy sunlight resting on my back side. I smile to myself and bury my face further in to folded arms, coming face to face with the deep green grass. I always missed the Chinese summers while I was in Korea. I roll over onto my back and gaze up at the clouds, tucking my arms behind my head. I see many shapes in the sky; a heart, a rabbit, something that looks kind of like a boot, and a messed up palm tree. I remember doing this all the time in Korea with you. It was much better back then. We always found the strangest things.
I feel his hand press lightly against my stomach, creeping under the thin fabric of my t-shirt and caressing the skin beneath it softly. I sigh contently and let my eyes slip closed. The sunlight starting to make me feel a pleasant drowsiness.
“I’m glad you’re back.” his voice ringing through my head like a bell and bringing me out of my cat nap. Turning my head, I look beside me into his light almond eyes. It shocks me for a moment; I’m not used to looking at them yet and it makes my heart beat slow down. It still hurts. It has since I came back to China, but over the past few weeks, it’s been especially hard. I don’t show it however, and I give him a half-hearted smile and nod before returning to my summer-time nap.
I miss the Korean summers and, even though I shouldn’t be now, I miss you.
“If only I could stop the flow of time,
Turn the clock to yesterday,
Erasing all the pain”
I think it’s been at least a couple more hours. Time is going much too fast for my liking. Without realizing it immediately, my left arm has gone completely numb, and on the right side, my fingers have started to go. It doesn’t matter to me, though. Maybe if I sit here long enough my whole body, inside and out, will lose it’s feeling. I wonder how long that would take. A few days, maybe? I’m certainly willing to try it as long as it promises to stop this wretched aching.
Or better yet; I could build a time machine. That would solve everything. I could rewind to when things first started to fall apart. It must’ve been eight months ago now because you left Korea four months ago. Four long, agonizing months ago. I could change everything if I could go back, including myself. I could change the fact that you’re now a whole country away, I could change the tears that were shed by the both of us, I could change my attitude then, and I could change this scene in my life right now.
Instead of locking myself away in my room we could be, dare I say, frolicking in the very field I have my eyes trained on at this moment. I could be chasing you through the tall grass, listening to your sweet, musical laughter lingering in the warm summer air. I’d catch you and you’d beat against my arms and chest playfully as I pulled you close to me, enveloping you in a big hug. Your playful struggles would die down almost immediately and I would feel your arms wrap around my waist, your whole body moulding into mine.
We’d lie together in the grass on our backs after we both grew tired of the little game of cat and mouse and together, we’d watch the clouds go by. We’d always find the weirdest things in the sky; a bus, a swan, a space ship, and even one that looked shockingly similar to Kang HoDong. You pointed that one out as you burst out laughing.
You’d fall asleep with your head on my chest within thirty minutes, the soothing sun always claiming your consciousness. With an arm draped across your flat stomach while the other beside your head, tangled slightly in your long, silky hair, you‘d look like a real summer angel.
I would watch you sleep, covering your smaller hand with my own and whisper to you, “My China Doll.” I would be able to see your eyes moving behind the lids, and I could only imagine what kind of sweet dreams you’d be having. Looking at your serene expression would always lift my spirits, making my worries melt away and I could do nothing but give in to my surroundings and relax completely as well. I would pray that moments like those ones would last forever.
Of course they didn’t. My eyes start to tear up at the memories and I quickly pat them dry with my shirt. Moments like those I’ll never get back now, I’m sure. Didn’t scientists in the 70’s say that in the near future, there would be flying cars and time machines? I truly wish that they had been right about at least one of those things.